Done with Dating Apps

After taking time to focus on me, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and try some dating apps. Let’s face facts, dating in college is hard. I put so much energy and time into college, jump starting my career, saving money, traveling, relocating, mastering self-care, finding ways to live a healthier lifestyle, spending time with friends/family, etc. The point is, by the time I actually had time to sit down and relax, the last thing on my mind was going on a date; let alone actually meeting potential suitors. The little bit of alone time I did have, went into napping. Since being out of college, I’ve been trying to date more and it’s definitely been interesting.

 

I finally broke down and created both a Tinder and a Bumble profile. While swiping is a great way to pass the time, it doesn’t really mean much if you only swipe right after every one hundred left swipes. I don’t know if I’m picky or just have really high standards. Either way, I found myself not even being attracted to many people like I thought I would be. They either lacked in the physical attributes I was looking for or their bios ruined any chance that they might’ve had for a right swipe. Anyway, I limited myself to about five people before I stopped swiping because let’s be real, after a while all men start to sound the same in conversation. I’ll admit, some of them were pretty cool and the conversations were interesting but, then there were others that weren’t so great. I found myself matching with people who lied about their age, weren’t the slightest bit interesting, or were just ditzy overall. Occasionally, I came across that one guy who seemed okay; the one I would end up giving my number to and going on a date or two with. You would think that meant that things were going somewhere right? Wrong.

 

Here’s the thing about me: I get very annoyed, very easily, in a very short amount of time. After sitting at a restaurant for about 20 minutes, I can tell whether or not the date will be worthwhile. I guess it’s a Cancer thing, being able to pick up on the vibes of others so quickly. I won’t go through every date that I’ve been on but, I’ll sum it up for you on just how terrible these dates were. I went out to dinner with this one guy in Atlanta. He chose P.F. Chang’s, which I love so that was a plus, the only plus to be exact. He ended up revealing that he liked for “his women” to wear crop tops, leggings, and heels everyday, no matter where she was going. Newsflash, I’m not some college freshmen heading to their first party. There’s no way in hell that I’m going to dress like that. Then he proceeded to tell me that he liked “his women” to agree with everything that he says and if he’s wrong, make up something to make it seem like he’s right. Jesus take the wheel! Oh wait, he said I didn’t believe in Jesus because I refused to submit to his B.S. You can only imagine how fed up I got. After one night of him blowing up phone with 30+ calls back to back and 20+ text messages, I was done. On to the next one because Lord knows I could never.

 

Then there was this guy that I thought was pretty cool. We talked for a few weeks before we hung out. Although I’ve been on dates, I’m not much of a date person. The fact that this guy was cool with us just browsing through Target on a rainy day was a plus. Here comes the B.S. The main reason I even had plans to go to Target was because I had came across some coupons for some Shea Moisture hair care products. Since doing the Big Chop, I had been wanting to try some of the products but, my hair can be sensitive so I wasn’t keen on buying a regular sized bottle of anything; just some trial sizes of each. I didn’t think it was a big deal. If you know me then you know that I have no problem using coupons. However, as soon as I pulled out my coupons to read the exact terms of what they applied to, he laughed. I was confused. He proceeded to tell me that he had never used a coupon in his life and the only people who used coupons were people who couldn’t afford things. WHAT?! I don’t care if I become a billionaire, I will always shop the deals, OKUUURRR!!! It’s who I am. You know what though? I let that slide and we continued going on about our hangout. Afterwards, we both decided we were hungry and we both love Burger King. He offered to drive but, on the way there, he expressed that he didn’t want to buy me food because he didn’t feel comfortable buying a woman food on the first date. Ha! Isn’t that somewhat the point? Remember though, we weren’t even on a date to begin with so it didn’t even phase me because I never expected him to pay. Wait, there’s more! I decided to let him come over and hangout for a little bit. He sits there while I’m drinking wine, expecting me to get drunk I guess and then complained that wine doesn’t make you drunk enough, quick enough. Meanwhile, he’s drinking nothing. Guess what he does next? Tries to have sex with me. So let me get this right? He was uncomfortable buying me food because it was our first time hanging out but, he wasn’t uncomfortable having sex on our first hangout? Yeah, no! He left soon after his advancements didn’t work and I haven’t contacted him since. Thankfully, he hasn’t done much contacting either and I actually haven’t heard from him in a while. I’m assuming he got the point but, if he ever contacts me again, BLOCKED!

 

The awkwardness, the ignorance, and the foolishness are always reasons as to why I have officially given up on dating apps. You just never know who you’re going to meet and regardless of meeting in a public place or not; I don’t want to be in the presence of a weirdo. I’d rather meet people in person while I’m out somewhere; which seems to have been working much better for me.

 

How’s the dating app life going for you? Hopefully you’re having better luck with it than I did.

4 thoughts on “Done with Dating Apps

  1. shenika

    Omg I thought that intuition was just a ME thing! And it takes no time for me to catch vibes; good or bad. I’m so sorry this was your experience. The guy with all of the demands was hilarious! Even seeing that mess day to day doesn’t lessen the surprise at hearing that that actually happens. Screw them niggas. Lol

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Shaienna Quinn

      Sis, I was speechless. Like, did he really just tell me that I’m basically a shadow in his presence who just needs to agree with everything he says. Tuh! The audacity. Honestly, it’s been so much better meeting men in person while I’m out. I can’t deal with the internet anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bfdates

    Shai ,
    I love your story Girl ! ty for sharing your feelings about date sites. I feel the same . You give me inspiration for my business. My husband says men like dirty . I think beautiful young women like you could meet decent men on my site hopefully . god bless girl .

    Liked by 1 person

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